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Finely chop some shallots and let them soak with the capers in a thin layer of white wine vinegar for at least an hour. Add a handful of lamb’s lettuce, open your tin of sardines and pour about 80% of the oil from the tin into the salad. Mix well.

Cut a thick slice of bread, toast it lightly and divide it into 3–4 pieces. Top each piece with a thick layer of butter, some shallots, capers and lamb’s lettuce. Place a sardine on top.

Arrange the bread on a plate, scatter the rest of the dressed lettuce around it and finish with a drop of lemon juice and black pepper. Put the tin on the table too, with the remaining sardine, the rest of the oil and an extra piece of bread. Trust us, that’ll get finished as well. Dive in!

Dough. Knead the eggs into the flour and semolina until you get a shiny ball. Done.

Filling. Blanch the peas, purée, mix with the rest. Done.

Sauce. Melt the butter with the mint and a few sage leaves. Add a splash of water and a spoonful of peas. Fish out the leaves (they had their moment, now they’re done).

Ravioli. Google “how to make ravioli”: knead, roll, fill, cut. Dust with semolina so they don’t dry out, and don’t let them sit around too long or they’ll fall apart from sheer impatience. Freeze if you’re not cooking right away.

Cook. About a minute in salted boiling water, then a minute in the butter sauce. Ravioli’s version of a quick dip and a victory lap.

Serve. Top with sauce, peas and a generous, unapologetic snowfall of pecorino.

Fry the ingredients in olive oil to make a sauce.

Fry the gnocchi separately in olive oil, or deep-fry them, until they’re crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.

Gently mix the two together. Serve. Eat.

Pound the fillet as thinly as possible between two sheets of cling film, using a frying pan. Season both sides and lightly dust with flour. Dip in beaten egg, then coat in panko. The schnitzel is ready.

Pop the jar of gherkins into a food processor and chop finely, but not so finely that it turns to pulp. Squeeze out all the liquid through a fine sieve and mix with the remaining sauce ingredients. The sauce is ready.

Fry the schnitzel in a generous layer of hot oil, or deep-fry until brown. Cut open a roll, add the sauce and garnish, and place the schnitzel in between… ohhh, cotoletta illegale. Mamma mia!

Heat the oil in a frying pan big enough to hold a packet of spaghetti lying flat. Fry the dry spaghetti in the oil until it starts to burn and change colour. Then add a splash of water. The pasta will sizzle, smoke and crackle, but you must carry on. The spaghetti must die, and you are the killer (assassina in Italian).

Now add the passata and stock a little at a time, until the stiff pasta is really dead and soft like al dente. Be patient; this takes about 15–20 minutes.

Serve with grated pecorino on top and a generous spoonful of stracciatella.

Blanch the spinach, then squeeze out as much moisture as possible. Knead it with the remaining ingredients into a firm dough. Shape into balls, as big or as small as you like. They’re your balls.

Fry the onions and garlic in the oil until translucent, then add the remaining ingredients and stir into a sauce. Season with salt to taste.

Heat the balls in the sauce until warmed through and serve with a nice slice of toast, made from whatever bread you like. A dash of olive oil and a sprinkling of pecorino on top, and you’re done.

Line a colander with a tea towel, pour in the yoghurt, tie the towel shut with string and hang it up somewhere* with a pan underneath.

After 12–16 hours all the whey has dripped out, leaving a curd-like cheese in the towel. Mix it to taste with a bit of cream, sugar water, lemon juice and, of course, the amarena cherries with some of their syrup.

Serve in a coupe glass, a small bowl, or whatever you fancy.

* That’s where the Dutch name “hangop” (literally “hang up”) comes from. You can also leave the yoghurt in the towel in the colander, with a large pan underneath. Hanging it up is optional.